He pulled in at 1:15am on Friday morning, with his girl friends teenage son. He is 17 and has dropped out of high school. The whole story of this kids life makes me sad. I firmly believe kids are a product of their environments, and with him its no different. A father he has not seen in 15 years, a mother that quit her job and left her kids behind to follow my brother to Washington state. -- something I just don't agree with. Three kids all with different dads, now she has hooked on to my brother. To her its love..to me she see's a meal ticket.
My brother found him Thursday in a walmart parking lot. The kid had bounced from friends house to friends house. Finally, even they got tired of him and kicked him to the curb. So, my brother agreed to take the boy in- with ZERO tolerance. He must get his high school diploma, find a job, And learn some discipline. No smoking, no endless hours of being a couch potato, no hanging out all night with friends. And certainly no sleeping till noon every day..and he must shower and wear clean clothes.
D, ( my brother) was all ready having his doubts about this decision. Its not his kid after all, he had raised his...now here he is again with a teenager in his life. He had to be the example, and be the disciplinarian..the whole ordeal was all ready wearing thin on him.
Senior and I allowed the kid in to our lives and our home for the past couple of days, we showed him what a real family is like, we had real dinners together like families are supposed to. He interacted well with ND and NW, played catch with them, and helped them with toys, He helped me out in the kitchen, cleaned his own dishes, and always said "yes ma'am and no ma'am" to me.
We talked and gave him advice and encouragement. I looked right at him yesterday and said: "Even though you come from a crappy background, your parents have not done their job and they have let you down, you don't have to continue down that path, the past is the past"
I told him, "the future is yours to mold. "
I took both D and the kid to the airport this morning at 430am- We said our good byes, and I wished the Kid good luck. He left with the promise to get back to school.
By now they are in Syracuse. In the wake of the visit D left us his Land Rover Defender to take care of over the next few months.....
There are a lot of young people out there who had bad parents, and consequently had almost no chance of making a go of it. About their only real chance is to find some adult who will help them with the necessities, and with mentoring. If they can make it to the late teens or early twenties, they can try to get into the service which is the only place they can get what they really need. The military gives you something to belong to, a group to belong to, a profession you can take pride in, a set of values , and a career path to respect and authority. It doesn't work for all of them but it sure does for some. I hope this boy takes advantage of the opportunity your family is giving him.`
ReplyDeleteI agree Harry- He was talking about the military as well, and has also talked to a recruiter. But, before he can do any of that he needs to get his high school diploma-
DeleteI hope as well that he realizes the opportunity my brother is giving him, He isn't even his kid, but my brother is willing to help him out.
oh Gurlie - you are breaking my heart! i feel so terribly for the kid....but what i feel worse about is that there are millions of these "throw-away" kids. their parents didn't "raise" them, they don't know anything except the bad examples that their parents set, they are floating and have nothing to ground them. i would love to gather all of these "throw-away" children and bring them here to the island.
ReplyDeleteour nearest neighbour, E, has 5 boys. her husband committed suicide about 12 yrs ago. she and those kids have been through hell. but she raised her boys right and i have no idea how she did it. they are all very respectful boys and we love them. they hang on to jambaloney's every word...all of them. but me and M have a special bond. his mother has asked me on several occasions to talk to him about different stuff because she said that he repeated stuff that i told him all of the time.
anyway, i wish that we could take the kid. i am very proud of you and Senior for setting such a good example for him. sometimes that's all it takes to change a life forever. i hope that he and your brother come back again. i am glad that you got to see your brother - i know that you wish that he was closer.
this comment is pretty long but i have to say that Harry is dead right. a lot of these kinds of kids end up in the military and the military really does provide a lot of good to lost kids. i know. i was kind of lost and the military gave me support and specialized training i could never have received anywhere else.
again, i thank you and Senior for setting such an example. you just may have been the catalyst, along with your brother, for this boy to change his life. let's cross our fingers, eh?
your friend, lots of love to you and Senior and the boys!
kymber
Right now.. I commend my brother for helping the kid out. But I also want to choke my brothers G/F the kids mother. 3 kids, all with different daddys. Her life has been a train wreck, and she has passed that off on her kids. Left them to follow my brother to Washington state. after he ( my brother) encouraged her not to... she hasn't worked, and has lived off my brother. Now, her son is living with them.. I am just so afraid they are all taking advantage of him and his generosity. I hope he stands by his word, and does have Zero Tolerance. My brother easily makes 6 figures a year, and he just wants to have a good woman in his life- I am just afraid of them thinking he is their meal ticket...
DeleteI don't understand how people can do this to their own blood. Our kids are very important to us. Too many just don't care, besides blaming the parents, we need to blame the Liberal
ReplyDeleteIdeology. I know or have meet several single moms who have done a great job, others not a clue.
A truly sad story, and more and more the norm rather than the exception!
ReplyDeleteROB: Yes I agree there are a lot of wonderful single parents out there. But then there are women like my brothers G/F. She perfers to party, then raise her kids. And thinks more of a man then her own flesh and blood.
ReplyDeleteNFO: I blame it on babies, having babies..Somewhere in central Florida she also has an older daughter that refuses to see her.
Well other people may tell me I am imagining things and point to some exception kid they know about but teenage White boys are screwed. SCREWED I say. Unless a White Boy has a spotless record of straight A's he will not get accepted to college and even then he won't be getting any financial assistance until he is in his 20's.
ReplyDeleteThey cannot join the military on a GED alone (Unless that has changed recently) but must complete 15 credit hours in college after getting the GED to qualify as a high school graduate. In some cases if they manage to wiggle into a high demand MOS in a State guard unit they can transfer over but only is a waiver is issued for that particular MOS.
While parents are at fault in many ways I ultimately place the blame on the education system. Plenty of children had rotten parents when I was a teenager. I love my parents but ya know what they only paid attention to me as a teenager when they had to and guess what.... I didn't want their attention overly much anyway by then. Teenage time is a time to start doing your own thing but the rules used to force you to apply yourself whether your parents cared or not, today the education system drives these young men out. They are damned if they do and damned if they don't so why bother? The teachers teach for girls these days and mostly only the girls go on to college anymore.
Young White boys have it bad and I wish I could collect each and every one of them up on a huge farm somewhere and declare our independence. The ones I saw at work were so down trodden and beaten it made me sad. No future, everywhere they turned they were told what was available was not for them. Always the wrong color or the wrong gender. Hell they cannot even pursue girls with the gusto of Black teenagers because the White boys will be fired if they do even a 10th of the flirting or harassing the Blacks and Hispanics do.
Some thing has to change soon.
PP: I have always said that the most discriminated person in our society or any society for that matter is the White Male. I fear for the future of my boys. They absolutly don't stand a chance. However factor in a pair of parents that have not been parents at all, they have not instilled discipline in their kids, showed them love and properly supported them and I feel it makes that child a hundred times less likely to achieve anything in this world.
DeleteSeeing this boy totally makes me sad, it broke my heart to hear how my brother found him and how he has bounced around.I wish Senior and I could adopt him and give him a decent family for at least some part of what is left of his teenage years. He should be in high school starting his senior year right now, and enjoying that.
I do wish him the best, and I hope he does dig himself out and can join the military..but it is going to take work on his part. My brother has been gracious to lead him to the water, now its up to him to drink it.