Only Me....

 

Hello Blogger friends...I know its been a while, a lot has happened since July 26th when I last posted. 

For those of you who don't know- My dad passed away on August 13th.We were told he had 6-8 months, but it turned out to be more like 6-8 days. None of us knew just how bad his health had declined, and how much he neglected himself to take care of my mother.  

His death has rocked me and my little family to the core...the boys have lost another grandparent, and Senior and I have lost much, much more. It has hurt deeply. But we all have one another and support each other daily. My dad meant a lot to all of us and he is missed every second of the day.

Mom is now comfortably in a nursing home,it wasn't anything that we actually had wanted to do, but her alzheimers has progressed so fast, that after dads health went down hill it was the best alternative for her. It is a beautiful place along the river , and she is getting excellent care. My sister and I drop in unannounced all the time, and every visit has been positive. I wish it did not have to come down to that, but it was for the best and she is where she needs to be.

My brother is still being an ass. My sister and I are getting an outside guardian for mom, as we feel with the situation with our brother and how he is behaving, that it is the best thing. All the attorneys agree, but my brother doesn't and is fighting us on it, I fear it will get much more uglier before it gets better. 

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 We have been busy this fall as both boys have been playing football. Due to their ages they were on different teams and it has been hectic. Finally the last games were tonight. With NW's team winning the county championship, and NDs team finishing in second place. We are very proud of both boys, as this was a new sport for them...there were times when they wanted to quit, but they stood tall and made it through

Well it is getting late, so I will end this for now... Hope you all have a good night...

-JUGM

prayers please and taking a break...

 

 The past few weeks have been rough. So, I am taking a break from blogging for a bit..There has been so much going on, that I am finding I barely have time to get on the computer much less do a post. My trips to Florida are now every two weeks, if not every week. We had the hard decision to make and had mom placed in a home... I hope you never have to do that for your parent..I feel like crap, and have been incredibly emotional ever since.
As soon as we were able to get mom placed...my dads health took a downward spiral. Seems he has been neglecting himself, skipping his medications to take care of mom , and now it has caught up with him.....the diagnosis is not good.

Now mix all that together with my asshole brother ( sorry but he is) who wants to fight my sister and I on everything ....there is always that one family member that makes things difficult. All I know is given the way he has treated his family, Karma will catch up to him, and he will one day have to answer for his evil actions.

So, I do ask for your thoughts and prayers... If you comment, I am not sure when I will respond. But please know I will read it.

-JUGM

a visit to see mom

While on spring break, we rode south to visit my parents in Florida. I don't usually talk to much about my mom, but once in a while, I think I need to for therapy.
Last week we got the diagnosis we all have known in the back of our heads, but dreaded to officially hear: advanced stage of Alzheimer's. Seeing it on paper, and hearing it from her doctor...rocked my dads world.
Because my mom has always been fearful of legal dealings, such as POAs, and Medical Surrogates. So, with my sister and I by Dads side we met last week with an attorney. We are petitioning the court for moms guardianship, this way he  can legally place her in a home, that will meet her needs and get her the help she consistently denies. She has only gone to the doctor twice in the past year, and we had to lie to get her to those appointments. So, it will be fight, as the mere mention of a doctors appointment or someone coming to the house arouses her aggression.
Something new is her constant sleeping, and in a daze of sorts. Last week she just sat there, disengaged, and staring past us into emptiness.


 I never thought I would see my mom like this, I mean what kid would?  When we had the boys, she was over the moon about them, they were her world, now she had nothing to do with them, and was wanting them to leave.

It hurts like hell and I hate how this horrible disease robs the patient of their life. All we do is pray for mom that God will intervene and relieve her of this mental torment and call her home.
( is that bad to ask for? )


JUGM

A Quick Trip

Went down Tuesday, surprised my parents who had no idea I was coming. Caught grief from Mom because I made a quick trip down and did not bring the boys.
We all went to moms Dr. appointment Wednesday. Her weight is down some more.
Doctor still will not let her drive because of the medication she is on. So she decided to take herself off everything. Still did not work, Doctor said NO to driving. Mom argued and said she will never go back to see him and that indeed she will drive. Then we talked to him about her passing out, and being constantly dizzy. She has had a series of mini strokes, and Dr. explained that is why he did not want her out driving. She said my sister and I were lying, and out to make her look bad.
Doctor literally threw up his hands in disgust. He told her she was the most stubborn and hard headed patient he has ever had. And that she could basically do whatever. I think he is done with her, and just letting time takes its toll on her disease.

My dad still just sits there.. does not saying anything. I think she has worn him down as well.

After the appointment I got back on the road for the 5.5 hour drive. I know my mother is not well, because my  mother of old would have begged me to stay and go shopping or something. My mom these days, asks me to leave -there are no tears, no long goodbyes like she would years ago. All she wants to do is get back to her house, and stay in her bed with the TV remote.

 The drive seemed to take forever..but I made it. I pulled up in our driveway and was greeted by all my boys. They were waiting outside for me. I missed the daylights out of them. While I know I needed to go see my parents, I also hated being away from them. I was thrilled to be home.

Tomorrow is Halloween, and now I must get started on making the home made costumes. One is being a Ghost bound by chains. The other wants to be a zombie again. I said you were a zombie last year. But, he said I have not been a zombie in SC .
I love doing our own costumes, it is always a lot of fun to be creative and see what scary things we can come up with. Since we are no longer in a neighborhood for organized Trick or Treating, we are taking the kids to an area mall.

The weather here is turning cold, Rain tomorrow night then down in to the 30s. even snow over in the mountains. BRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

A morning with my folks

We drove down to Florida to visit my folks.. Mom continues to go downhill, and she keeps losing weight. Her memory medicine is helping and she was more alert then in the past, but her agression has gotten worse.  Anything you want to do for them she opposes, and after an hour was hinting for us to leave. I have accepted that this is really not my mom, its this horrible disease.

 My father stays by her side and takes care of everything. 55+ years together is amazing, the love is what makes you weepy eyed. My sister showed up and showed me a book she got called " The 36 Hour Day" Its about coping with Alzheimer's/Dementia.

My dad was trying to mow the yard but being 80 , the Florida heat was getting to him. Senior had dropped us off so I decided to finish up the yard for Dad. Black shirt, black shorts, dressy flip flops...I know I am a good kid.!  He has one of those electric mowers so NW was behind me keeping the extension cord out of my way. I really don't like those things...

Mom's flowers were in bloom, and the butterflies were playing. ..

It was a nice visit.

The Ole Chimney and Other Stuff

At the estate we had two single wide mobile homes. One my father in law resided in, the other was old, and the floor was about to give away. So we got with our neighbor Mr. Farmer, and thus began the demolition of the old place. We said he could have it, and put it on his place if he just got it out of here. Must have taken him a month to dismantle the porch my father in law had built. Let me tell you that man used every nail he could find,and when he built something, he built it to last.
Then, about three weeks ago, Mr. Farmer got with another neighbor and had it towed off. It now sits in Mr. Farmers pasture, he is remodeling it for his grand daughter and her husband.

What is left in it's wake is a pile of concrete blocks and this old chimney. I love this thing. It has lots of rustic charm and character.

We plan to move the old rubble to a bottom area, and clear the old home site up. Once all that is done, Senior wants to work his magic and transform this old chimney into a fire pit. His plan is to make an opening in the bottom then make some bench swings around it. Should be nice and cozy once we are done with this project.

My parents came to visit. the only thing I have to say about it is my mother does not have a country bone in her body. Combining  that with her Alzheimers made for a wonderful week. By Wednesday night she had half of their luggage waiting by the door. At precisly 8am on Thursday their bedroom door opened, they were fully dressed and mother was lobbing bags at my dad as if they were baseballs. I can most likely predict that she will never return to our little hilltop estate.   *Sigh*

Saturday brought us rain, and dark clouds here today. Senior is smoking us some ribs. I will cook him up some baked beans, and fried corn. We will retire on our porch for the evening, with our major source of entertainment: The police scanner..  Fun times indeed! 

Till Next Time! 
JUGM

Still Here...

Hello everyone. My buddy Harry sent me a comment via one of my other posts, and I guess it has been a bit since I last posted. Harry to answer your question, yes we are still here..  Thank you so much for your concern.
Things have just been busy: kids out school, going back and forth to our Carolina property..and my mother. She was officially diagnosed with Dementia/Alzheimers. And the past month has not been easy. My mother is so fixated on all her OTC vitamins, laxatives and etc. The doctor asked us to clean everything out and destroy it. We tried, but did not realize the scope of her fixation, or the levels she would go through to protect them.  She has stuff hidden quite well throughout their house. Even stashing bottles in with my dads diabetes medication. We also found a hoard of pain killers she had in the very back of her kitchen cabinets, the expiration dates were several years ago. We thought that maybe she forgot there were there, but no. That is not the case, she became quite agitated when we tried to destroy them, and openly acknowledged that she still takes them..
She will then regress backwards in her mind to almost a childlike demeanor, beginning us not to take them away or judge her.

It is heart breaking for me to see my mom like this. One minute she is engaged in a conversation with you, and the next she has no recollection of every thing that was just said. She refers to the men in her life as "mister" because she can not remember their names.

So with all this going on the last thing on my mind has been writing up a post. But, I will say that maybe I need to do this, writing about it, and talking about it is therapy. It helps ease my heart ache because I know I have all you good folks out there who are concerned and  care.

-JUGM

SC Common Core

The battle began about two years ago. When the parents of South Carolina school children began bringing home  Common Core education. The lines were drawn and parents were outraged at the "Dumbing Down" of our school kids.
I ,in Florida felt fortunate, that we did not have full implementation of this monster..we only had the math portion which is a headache enough. South Carolina and several other states have full implementation.
Common Core is not only a fight for what curriculum is taught, it is also a fight for the personal data that is being collected. Data that the federal government has no business asking.

Below is an actual questionnaire :

This is what a parent wrote in on one such questionnaire that was mailed to them from the Palm Beach County School District here in Florida:

 Now I am happy to say that Last week the voices of the people were heard, the South Carolina House and Senate struck down Common Core. The bill will go back to the house for final passage then signed by the Governor.

However South Carolina must remain vigilant. The same thing was done in Indiana and new curriculum was passed, only it was still common core with a different name to it.
That is why the Anti Common Core movement is hoping for their candidate : Sherry Few to be elected. She has promised sweeping changes to South Carolina's education system and if elected will begin working on the new curriculum in January 2015 when she takes office.

Now Florida needs to get on the bandwagon....  fingers crossed

-JUGM

Been Busy

I really am still here. Things have been busy: Baseball, working on the wedding shower, my parents health issues, and working with Senior and our company ( spring is our busiest season).

Just stay tuned please......

- JUGM

End of a Long Week

I will be happy for the weekend. Sunday morning we leave for the South Carolina Estate for Spring Break..This week has been long and rough for me and my family. Dad is still in the hospital. Yesterday was the needle aspiration - 1-2 gallons of fluid was extracted, then he was started on Lasix. Since Tuesday he has now dropped almost 40 pounds.  WOW!

While he is feeling much better, he is having a potassium issue and for that reason they want to keep him hospitalized at least for tomorrow, but possibly until Sunday. This water retention problem will come back, the cirrhosis has grown more intense. Ultimately he will need a liver transplant, but my father because of his age, has all ready told us he will decline it.

I called the Foundation for Alzheimer's and Dementia to get some information in reference to my mom. Lots of prayers will be needed for this, as we start the dreaded journey down the road to obtain an evaluation and help for her.

Again, THANK YOU ALL for the prayers, love and support- it means more to me and my family then you will ever know.. 

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Today was beautiful here, I desired some much needed therapy so I grabbed my camera and prior to getting the boys from school I drove around a bit and took some pics.
Have I told you  lately how much I love black and white? 




This farmhouse is on the way to school- I  have always liked it
 



I pass this train car every day- I think it has lots of character

I like the way this branch hangs over this small creek



A old house turned into an antique store-


 

Update on My Dad...

First off  THANK YOU all for the prayers.. I could feel the warmth from all the concern and love expressed for my family yesterday.

Dad is in the hospital for at least a couple of days. He has approx. a 1-2 gallons of fluid built up in his abdomen, which is causing extreme pain and is pressing against his heart and lungs. The X-rays showed his lungs were clear, so that is a good sign. T
His doctor is using medication to help relieve him of the fluid, and it is starting to work. But, they are also going to do a needle aspiration to draw the fluid out. Also his platelet count is VERY low...today it was 39.
He suffers from Cirrhosis of the liver, and the doctors believe it has grown worse. It was interesting because the admitting doctor lifted Dads shirt, and showed us red blotches across his stomach, and he told us that was a sign of increased Cirrhosis. Plus Dad looks incredibly jaundiced, and his skin is very dehydrated and cold.

My brother flew in from Seattle to be here, mainly for my dad. But also because he is the one person  my mother will listen to.
If there is any good news from this, it is that Dad, yesterday admitted my mother is having problems, and needs some sort of evaluation for her mental abilities. For so long, he has denied anything was wrong, but her behavior yesterday opened his eyes to the fact that indeed something is not right.

It is sad for me, to see both my parents at the same time like this  How does one deal with this? I have one parent declining medically and the other mentally. It is hard to watch the daily deterioration of my mother. She was also so well kept, and her house was immaculate.
Now, she is the complete opposite, she has removed her self from society and all she wants to do is stay in their house, talking to her you would think she is a 4-5 year old..it is as if she is regressing in age.   It is really tough and makes me very emotional.

I have my Senior and my boys there for support they are wonderful and I am truly blessed to be loved so much. . If anyone knows how I am feeling it is Senior-he has lost both his parents, and my beam of support. His strong arms give me security. I know I have all of you as well, you are all a second family--So thank you again.

-JUGM

Prayers Please

Got the call this morning....My 80 year old father is being admitted to the hospital. He has approx. a gallon of fluid built up around his heart and lungs..he is miserable and in pain.

My mother suffers from dememtia and is being very difficult. If she does not calm down, things will escalate  She does not understand, and is arguing with every one and she is being extremely difficult.  *Sigh*

-JUGM

When it Rains....

When it rains, sometime it just doesn't rain...its a monsoon.  That is at least how Senior and I are feeling. Seniors dad two weekends ago, went  in to the VA hospital for some minor issues. Now he is back in the hospital and Senior is having to go back and forth. With his college courses, obligations here at home, and running up to SC every few days, it has been rough to say the least on him and us.
He wanted me to pass on that if you follow his blog : SENIORS MESS  to not delete him..he will be back with a post soon.

Now, while all this is going on, Our oldest NW got a cold last week and fever. I kept him from school Thursday, fever broke and I felt all was well. He woke up Friday morning complaining of leg cramps, he had no fever and I felt he was okay to go. Around Noon, his teacher called..the pain in his legs was worse and he was limping and walking slow. I got him home and he was back running a fever..so i dosed him with Motrin and put him to bed. He woke up Saturday morning crying from the pain. so I took him to our local ER. They put him through an xray and extensive blood work. And it turned out, he had a viral muscle inflammation known as Myositis. I was perplexed..how in the world did our son get this?  The ER doctor felt the best course of action would be to transport him to the Children's Hospital where they see this condition more frequently and have better facilities to handle it.
So, NW took an ambulance ride, which he thought was totally cool.

We get checked in to his little room--fluids started. He had to spend the night. I was not prepared for seeing my little boy hooked up to tubes and laying in a hospital bed. Poor fella had to pee every few minutes as the IV was flushing his system. He stayed the night, and was doted on by cute little nurses. They gave him a Nintendo game system to play on, and brought lots of gator-aid to drink. Senior and ND came to visit. Lots of friends gave us words of encouragement, but it was actually the one words of an elderly lady that I will not forget. ND and I left the hospital in search of dinner. We went to the deli counter of a grocery store and the lady making our sub sandwiches noticed we both looked exhausted. I told her the circumstances, she asked our sons name and promised to remember him in her prayers that night. I will not forget her kindness.

 While we ate ND told us about the opening day of baseball, and how well he played in his first
 T-Ball game. Poor NW just had to listen. He wants so bad to be running on the field with his baseball team..but that needs to wait a bit.
His levels of this virus dropped and they sent us home. Now he is recuperating and out of school until next week. ..

So, with all that has been going on in our family you can only imagine the level of stress we have been under. It all got to me yesterday and I broke down crying while watching Senior pack  so he could head back up to SC.
The good news is NW is home and doing much better, he is walking now and playing. He will be okay.
Seniors dad though is in need of prayers as he is still in the hospital. Currently we don't know what is all going to happen. It is a very complex issue.... 
But, we are a strong family, and have lots of support. And with Faith in God, we will get through this

I promise to keep you all updated..

-JUGM

The Dream

I was at the checkout.I was in a long blue dress I use to wear. Senior told me he was going to wait outside. I saw NW go with him. I turned to pay and assumed ND had tagged along with the guys as well. He always does.. At least that is what I thought.  I paid and left to meet them. No ND. I looked  around frantically thinking he was at a gumball machine or looking at the Redbox movies.
The Panic set it. I rushed back in to the store screaming his name. No answer.
Shoppers looked at me like I was a crazed psychopath. Senior went to Customer service to have him paged.
I ran up and down the aisles, stumbling over my feet, crying and yelling for him. He was no where.
Disappeared, gone.

I collapsed on to the floor, Senior there trying to grab me. My baby was missing. Who took him? Why? My God they will pay!
I was numb. I couldn't feel anything..  Senior and I were going through every parents horror.
 The Store manager asked that no one leave.The staff stopped new shoppers from coming in.  Other customers joined the search, an elderly lady put her hand on me for comfort. Still I screamed for him. My baby, my sweet little boy. Where was he!.
Then out of no where, there he was.  wearing his little red shirt and blue shorts. smiling at me like nothing was wrong. Safe. and untouched. no hair on his head out of place.

The sounds of the boys playing this morning woke me from this nightmare. I jumped out of bed, and there he was sitting on the floor of his room playing with his Batman cave. I smiled, a tidal wave of relief rushed over me.  My baby is indeed safe. I gave him a big hug and kiss on the forehead.
He did not know why. I told him I had a bad dream about him.
He said "Mommy its okay, it was just a dream".

Our Dreams. They are our subconscious and occur throughout the night. During 8 hours of sleep a person can spend two hours dreaming. They are a variety of our emotions, ideas and sensations. If you can remember it vividly-Like I can with this dream, then you are awoken during the REM stage of sleep.
Now I am thinking about it, it will bother me all day. I will keep the boys close, and wonder what sort of cryptic message this dream was trying to tell me.

-JUGM

My Day At The Blood Doctor

I am not one to get people all worried over nothing, but some of my recent routine blood work came back with a bit of a high white cell count. My primary care doctor decided I should go to a hematologist for some further testing. Those who knew were of course Senior, my sister, my parents and my good friend K. My mother with her dementia problems, thought I was headed to a early grave, and had her entire church praying for me. So to egg my mother on...Last week when they came over, I took this beautiful lavendar sequin gown out of my closet and told her to make sure I am buried in it..   : ) --Yea Priceless

Over the weekend I got a huge packet of paperwork to fill out. I take it with me to the appointment today. Once in the room the nice little nurse is taking my vitals, she starts asking all the same questions, that I had just answered in the packet of paperwork. Then she says, "You must be a new patient"

Then comes time to be stuck by the lab. Where once again I get the same nurse. That is when I am told she is not a nurse but a student. And she  has a big problem finding my vein. "OUCH!"  apparently we did not put the needle in far enough. I had to get re-stuck by the professional. Now I have some nice red marks on my arm..  Those results have since come back, and now I need more blood work done..this time to test my Iron and B12 levels. The hematologist found those a bit concerning.

Once I left, it was off to Chinamart, for some chicken breast and white rice. Mosins tummy is upset.
At the register I see a nice older lady. Looked to be really well kept, and clean. Nice clothes, and her nails done. She was purchasing a bunch of bananas, high dollar international teas, and some International liquid coffee creamer...but paying with her EBT card.  "Great!" I thought. I am paying for her coffee creamer.. but atleast she has nice nails. I just stared her down and shook my head.

I checked our mailbox..My good buddy KELLY sent a gift:  Strike anywhere matches..super cool! THANKS KELLY!  I shall test them out soon. She put them in a nice little pint size mason jar..they look to cute to use..  : )

So I am  home, dealing with the puppies upset tummy. Last day of winter break for the kids, then its school tomorrow, so we go back to our routine. I will be so thankful to be back on a schedule. and a day to myself to clean this house up!   : )

-JUGM

What really needs to happen....

Okay I am going to rant a bit- these are my opinions that I am expressing: 
  
Well in talking with my good friend K the other morning during our morning walk and talk session, we hit on the problem and she was in agreement..More parents need to stop letting Video games be the baby sitter.

The entire gaming industry needs to be revamped,  It all first started with "Dungeons and Dragons" some of us who are old enough to remember- a group of kids got so heavily involved in it, they were actually role playing and killed a person-they were living the game, talking like the game, dressing like the game, they all even renamed themselves with medieval names..

Well games have evolved a lot since then, they are realistic and keep you coming back for more.
You take a kid, that is bullied, he has no friends, he is the loner, both parents work, he comes home from school and  the first thing he does is pick up and turn on the video games. Give him a game console and let him grow up with that..and it becomes his best friend. He starts to believe in it, and believe it is real...he then feels he needs to act that out. The boys who committed these recent killings all had 2 things in common..their age group, and they were all in to video gaming.

 Also, there has got to be more parental involvement in your kids life, and parents need to know what their kids are doing, and care enough about them..You had them, be responsible for them.  I have a friend, her little boy is 8. He has a PSP, A Wii game system and a Xbox... it is all he does, and he looks at my kids like they are from another planet because we don't have all that. We have another friend whos 5 year old is a mental health case, both parents work, he has been raised by day cares, and what does he have at home? Again, a Wii, an Xbox, a PSP, and his own Ipad tablet...Good Gawd No wonder he is the way he is. I love his parents but they use no sort of discipline and he runs over both of them.. I would give anything if they would pull his pants down and wipe his little A-- 

Immediately after BO took his photo op at the memorial service in CT. do you know what the commercial was?  It was for a new game called "Hitman" A kid sees that and plays that, and they think they can do anything. They think they can be that character. You put that in the hands of a kid with some mental issues, who has been picked on and bullied his whole life, and its a recipe for disaster. 
And then there is the whole movie industry..I love the show "Criminal Minds" I watch it all the time..a few weeks prior to the tragedy in CT, they aired a show about 2 brothers, who kidnapped a school bus full of teens, they took them to a warehouse that was set up like a video game, the brothers put shock collars on the kids and made them go through this warehouse killing each other..  Why? Because they were playing out a video game they were involved in using real people.  I did not think much about that episode until this happened last Friday..how scary.

Another thing is, there needs to be legislation on what doctors prescribe for these kids...  You can't cure mental issues by prescribing pills like its candy. They can't just brush the problem under the carpet with pills and tell the parents it will be okay. Because obviously its not.

So my point to my rant is, people are over reacting, the weapon is an inanimate object..the real issue is what is going on with the mind behind it, and all the parameters involved.
Like I said in a comment on another bloggers post..  "where there is a will there is a way, Cain killed Able with a rock" 


-JUGM